Back to the Future...I'm an Artist, wait Know I'm a Scientist....IS IT The Same?

I’m an artist…always have been even when I didn’t know it. 

I grew up thinking I was one of the "smart kids", I did well at school, knew my multiplication tables…started reading when I was three…playing instruments wasn’t for me, being left-handed in art class was a disability.  Sports? Those were for the athletic kids.  I was a smart kid…

In school, I took the Math and Science path though all I really wanted to do was be over in Fine Arts…I thought they were the coolest people in the world, those that had talent, talent enough to pursue their love full-time.  In undergrad I had to fight my Academic Advisors to let my acting classes count towards my General Elective requirements…They would have rather more math, more science.

For a long time I felt like my degree(s), what I spent years on, were a liability….

This morning I woke up from dream, with a vision.  My thesis, my graduate school project just might fit into this new Thing, yet to be defined, that I do, that I AM.  As crazy as it sounds, I can see it being the backdrop of an amazing Experience.  It all seems clear in the vision…now to bring it into Reality...the words; Allow and Surrender whisper in my ear...

Part of this newfound Peace (I woke up with two days ago), of relaxing into what is unknown is the Surrender.   Not quite intuitive for the academically trained problem solving corporate consultant…It’s my Job to have the answers (or it was).  


Now my only Job is to surrender to the Unknown, the Field of Possibilities. Where Magic Happens.  At least I believe it does….DO you?

Photo Credit: Tamari 09 Tamaristock Fantasia http://tinyurl.com/258lsu7

How It All Began

At the beginning of this week I had a lucrative corporate contract, that wasn't supposed to end through the end of the year.  By Friday I was sending good-bye emails. I followed my heart and told the truth?!   AM I Crazy?!  I thought as the air escaped from my lungs, my chest began to collapse and my mind raced with all of the things I SHOULD HAVE done...Like wait until...wait one more month, one more contract...to follow my Heart.

I am leaving the only world I truly know, the only way I've ever known how to support myself financially, the only thing I've ever truly been confident I was good at...and for WhAT?!  To follow my dream, may PASSION!...Which for some reason I can't recall right now...do I dance, sing, act?!

I feel like I am having an identity crisis, because that life, that job, those contracts, is (no was) who I AM. 

I woke up this morning with my chest a little less tight and the airways a little more open...thinking. It's Time for You to Learn to Love YOU!...


SO Here it is the Journey of me learning to Love Me and follow My Passion...Maybe you can relate...

Photo Credit: Autumn Sunset by Tim in Ohio http://tinyurl.com/2anuboy